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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Breaking via Messenger:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Breaking via X:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Just shared via YouTube:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Just landed via Threads:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Trending via Discord:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Making waves on Slack:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I get writer’s block responding to people.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Just landed via Twitch:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Going viral on Discord:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Going viral on Snapchat:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Spotted on Telegram:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

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