Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Going viral on Slack:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Breaking via Slack:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Trending via Facebook:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Funny mistaken quotes

Funny mistaken quotes are the perfect blend of wit and whoops 🤪✨—those hilarious mix-ups that make you laugh and wonder how someone got it so wrong but still so right! From famous figures to everyday sayings gone sideways, these gems keep us entertained and remind us that even words can have a funny bone 😂📚. Ready for some laugh-out-loud moments? Let’s dive into the world of accidental comedy! 🎉😆

New funny mistaken quotes 👇

All funny mistaken quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

45 shares on Slack this month:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

27 shares on Threads this month:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Just landed via Slack:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Live now on YouTube:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Making waves on TikTok:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Just shared via YouTube:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Going viral on Facebook:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Spotted on Slack:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Breaking via Reddit:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

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