Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,297

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Just landed via Messenger:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Just shared via Discord:

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

Broadcasted on X:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Spotted on YouTube:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Just landed via Telegram:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Going viral on Threads:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Breaking via Discord:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Funny mom-and-pop quotes

New funny mom-and-pop quotes 👇

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

4 weeks ago

apple, Apple Music, called, consumerism, disgusted, ethical, ethical consumerism, fair, fair trade, humor, i, mom-and-pop, music, music platform, platform, sarcasm, service, Spotify, still, streaming, streaming service, trade

All funny mom-and-pop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

73 shares on Slack this month:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

44 shares on Threads this month:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Making waves on X:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Trending via Discord:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

God saw you do that.

Going viral on Slack:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Breaking via Facebook:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny mom-and-pop quotes

New funny mom-and-pop quotes 👇

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

All funny mom-and-pop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨