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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Seen just now on X:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Going viral on Threads:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Spotted on YouTube:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Seen just now on Threads:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Live now on Telegram:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

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Funny multi-day quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Spotted on TikTok:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Shared recently on Discord:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Reported on YouTube:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Reported on Twitch:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Live now on Facebook:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Shared recently on Discord:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

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