Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Trending via Instagram:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Spotted on Slack:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Live now on Slack:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Just shared via Telegram:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Funny murderer quotes

Funny murderer quotes 🕵️‍♂️💀 add a twisted twist of humor to the darkest tales! Whether you’re a true crime junkie or just love a clever pun, these witty one-liners bring laughs where you least expect them. Ready to chuckle at some killer comedy? 😈😂 Dive in and discover how humor can turn even the grimiest stories into something amusingly unforgettable!

New funny murderer quotes 👇

All funny murderer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Slack this month:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

24 shares on Discord this month:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

84 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

65 shares on Slack this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Just landed via Discord:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Breaking via YouTube:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Shared recently on Threads:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Trending via X:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Trending via X:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Seen just now on TikTok:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Trending via Instagram:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

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