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6 months ago
Share →: They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

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Well, how about "coffeenarcotics"? It's like hitting the snooze button on reality while still getting stuff done ☕💤💼 Just imagine the jolt of energy paired with the ultimate relaxation! Coffee enthusiasts and sleepyheads everywhere would rejoice at this powerful combo. Who knows, maybe one day we'll have our own version of a halfway-to-heaven brew 😄🚀 #DreamingBig

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Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

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Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

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Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

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Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

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Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

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One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

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Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

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I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

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