Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Making waves on Telegram:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Trending via YouTube:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Making waves on Telegram:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Just landed via Threads:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Home » Funny Newer Quotes

Funny newer quotes

New funny newer quotes 👇

For even more funny newer quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny newer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Just shared via Twitch:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Just shared via Discord:

I would prefer not to.

Spotted on Messenger:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Seen just now on YouTube:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Going viral on Threads:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Just landed via Instagram:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴