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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Live now on YouTube:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Trending via Messenger:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Threads this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Drive like no one is watching.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

41 shares on X this month:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

94 shares on Discord this month:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

24 shares on Instagram this month:

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Seen just now on Discord:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Just landed via Twitch:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Just shared via YouTube:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Going viral on Twitch:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

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