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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Going viral on WeChat:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Trending via Snapchat:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Just landed via Telegram:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Going viral on Slack:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Trending via Pinterest:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Seen just now on X:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Trending via Slack:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

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Funny nicholson quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,997

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Just landed via Threads:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Live now on Discord:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Live now on Reddit:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Just shared via TikTok:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Shared recently on X:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Breaking via Slack:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Shared recently on X:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

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