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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Spotted on Twitch:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Just landed via X:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Freshly posted on X:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Live now on TikTok:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Breaking via Messenger:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Funny no one quotes

Funny no one quotes are the perfect way to add a dash of humor when nobody’s around to hear it 😂✨ Whether you’re laughing at your own silly thoughts or sharing moments that only you find hilarious, these gems bring a smile to solo chill sessions 😎🎉 Get ready to embrace the quirky, the unexpected, and the downright goofy side of being your own best audience! 🎭🤣

New funny no one quotes 👇

All funny no one quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

81 shares on X this month:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Just landed via Threads:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Trending via LinkedIn:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Going viral on WeChat:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Trending via WeChat:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Spotted on X:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

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