Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Breaking via Twitch:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Just shared via Threads:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Trending via YouTube:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Just shared via Threads:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Funny non-baking quotes

New funny non-baking quotes 👇

All funny non-baking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

50 shares on X this month:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

29 shares on Discord this month:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

35 shares on TikTok this month:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Making waves on X:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Live now on Pinterest:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Just shared via Instagram:

My recliner and I go way back.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Making waves on Messenger:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

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