Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Live now on Discord:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Breaking via Telegram:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Just landed via Discord:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Trending via Instagram:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Making waves on X:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Funny oncoming quotes

Funny oncoming quotes 🚗💨 are the perfect way to brighten your day and keep you laughing through traffic jams and unexpected detours 😂🌟 Whether you’re stuck behind a slow driver or just need a chuckle on your commute, these witty lines will have you grinning from ear to ear 😄✨ Buckle up and get ready for some hilarious vibes ahead! 🚦🤣

New funny oncoming quotes 👇

All funny oncoming quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

32 shares on X this month:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

13 shares on Threads this month:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

40 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Just shared via Messenger:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Just shared via Telegram:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Just landed via Telegram:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

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