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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Making waves on Threads:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Going viral on TikTok:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Going bananas on Messenger:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Just shared via Telegram:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

Just landed via Instagram:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Funny ouija quotes

Funny ouija quotes bring a spooky twist with a splash of humor 👻🪄 Whether you’ve tried summoning spirits or just love a good paranormal laugh, these witty lines are sure to tickle your funny bone 😂✨ Get ready to mix chills with chuckles and brighten up your next séance or Halloween night! 🎃🕯️ #SpookyAndFunny #OuijaVibes

New funny ouija quotes 👇

All funny ouija quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

81 shares on X this month:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

37 shares on Threads this month:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Spotted on Threads:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Just shared via Reddit:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Making waves on X:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Just shared via Instagram:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Trending via Telegram:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Live now on Slack:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Live now on Reddit:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

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