Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Breaking via Reddit:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Going viral on Twitch:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Making waves on Instagram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Just landed via Facebook:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Funny parcel quotes

Funny parcel quotes 📦😂 bring a burst of laughter to every delivery day! Whether you’re unboxing surprises or waiting for that long-awaited package, these witty lines add a sprinkle of joy and humor to the whole experience. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your social feed, get ready to giggle your way through parcel moments! 🎉📬✨

New funny parcel quotes 👇

All funny parcel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

50 shares on X this month:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

12 shares on Threads this month:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

53 shares on Discord this month:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

15 shares on X this month:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

61 shares on Slack this month:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Seen just now on Discord:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Going viral on Pinterest:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Discord:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Just shared via Threads:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Shared recently on YouTube:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

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