Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2154 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,316

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,316

Updated

39 seconds ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Trending via Pinterest:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Spotted on Discord:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Just landed via WeChat:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Spotted on Twitch:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Just landed via Facebook:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Just landed via Discord:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Home » Funny Phases Quotes

Funny phases quotes

New funny phases quotes 👇

For even more funny phases quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny phases quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2154 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,316

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,316

Updated

39 seconds ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Just shared via YouTube:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Making waves on Instagram:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Reported on Instagram:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Shared recently on Slack:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Trending via LinkedIn:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Making waves on Twitch:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴