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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Trending via Discord:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Just shared via Instagram:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Just shared via Threads:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Making waves on Facebook:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Going viral on Facebook:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Shared recently on Threads:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Funny pickle quotes

Funny pickle quotes 🥒 bring a tangy twist to your day, mixing humor and a dash of dill-ightful wit! Whether you’re in a pickle or just love a good pun, these bite-sized laughs will squeeze out smiles and keep things briny and bright. Get ready to relish the fun and share the giggles—because life’s better when it’s a little bit pickled! 😄🍴✨

New funny pickle quotes 👇

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

4 weeks ago

food, give, humor, importance, important, me, people, pickle, sharing
Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

4 weeks ago

day, expression, humor, humorous, idiom, joke, pickle, said, weird
I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

4 weeks ago

bring, eat, food, fun, going, humor, i, lunch, meeting, meetings, pickle, vibe, workplace

All funny pickle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

35 shares on Threads this month:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

75 shares on X this month:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

49 shares on X this month:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,739

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Just landed via TikTok:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Live now on YouTube:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Live now on Discord:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Just landed via Reddit:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Going viral on Messenger:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Live now on Slack:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Making waves on Reddit:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Spotted on Reddit:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

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