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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Jan 6, 2026

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Just shared via TikTok:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Trending via TikTok:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Live now on Telegram:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Making waves on Telegram:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Funny plasma quotes

Funny plasma quotes spark a hilarious twist on science and tech that’ll make you laugh out loud 🤣⚡ Whether you’re a science geek or just love clever humor, these witty lines about plasma will electrify your day 🔥✨ Get ready to glow with giggles and share some charged-up fun with friends! 😄🔬 #LaughAndLearn

New funny plasma quotes 👇

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

0

6 months ago

big, donate, donation, humor, just, plasma, scam, TV, TVs, using

All funny plasma quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on X this month:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

52 shares on Threads this month:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

77 shares on X this month:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

28 shares on Threads this month:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

54 shares on X this month:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Spotted on Reddit:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Just shared via TikTok:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Trending via Facebook:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

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