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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Just shared via Facebook:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Spotted on Facebook:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Going viral on TikTok:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Spotted on YouTube:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Just landed via Threads:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Just landed via X:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Live now on X:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

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