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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Live now on Pinterest:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Just landed via Slack:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Funny Pooh Bear quotes

Funny Pooh Bear quotes bring a splash of honey-sweet humor 🍯🐻 to brighten your day! Whether you’re feeling a little “hunny”-hungry or just need a giggle, these lovable lines from everyone’s favorite bear will have you smiling from ear to ear 😄🌳. Perfect for sharing with friends or adding a dash of whimsy to your feed, Pooh’s playful wisdom never fails to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone! 🎉✨

New funny Pooh Bear quotes 👇

All funny Pooh Bear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

30 shares on X this month:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

80 shares on Threads this month:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Seen just now on X:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Just landed via WeChat:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Spotted on Messenger:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Breaking via TikTok:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Making waves on WeChat:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

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