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New funny quotes: 7295 this month

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Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

76 Funny prank quotes

Funny prank quotes 😂 are the secret sauce to tickling your funny bone and adding a sprinkle of mischief to your day! Whether you’re plotting a friendly joke or just need a giggle 🤭, these witty words will have you chuckling in no time. Perfect for sharing with your partners-in-crime or just enjoying a solo laugh, these quotes bring the giggles without any of the guilt. Dive into a world where humor meets harmless hijinks! 🎉

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Posted onMar 30, 2026

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Posted onMar 29, 2026

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Posted onMar 28, 2026

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Posted onMar 27, 2026

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Posted onMar 26, 2026

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