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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Going viral on Discord:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Just shared via Telegram:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Breaking via Instagram:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Spotted on Slack:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Seen just now on Slack:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Funny pre-annoyed quotes

New funny pre-annoyed quotes 👇

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

4 days ago

annoyance, anticipation, emotion, ever, frustration, humor, know, pre-annoyed, sarcasm, someone

All funny pre-annoyed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

21 shares on X this month:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

66 shares on Slack this month:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Just landed via Discord:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just shared via X:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Just shared via Discord:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Spotted on WeChat:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Seen just now on YouTube:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Trending via Telegram:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny pre-annoyed quotes

New funny pre-annoyed quotes 👇

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

All funny pre-annoyed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨