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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Live now on WhatsApp:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Just shared via Threads:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Going viral on X:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Spotted on Twitch:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Funny primordial quotes

New funny primordial quotes 👇

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

3 weeks ago

appendix, belief, believe, biology, humor, i, organ, people, primordial, think, vestigial, vestigial organ

All funny primordial quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

56 shares on X this month:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

26 shares on X this month:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Just landed via Slack:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Live now on Reddit:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Live now on X:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Making waves on Messenger:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Making waves on TikTok:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

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Funny primordial quotes

New funny primordial quotes 👇

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

All funny primordial quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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