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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Just landed via Telegram:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Making waves on Messenger:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Making waves on Discord:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Trending via Messenger:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Funny processed quotes

New funny processed quotes 👇

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

0

2 months ago

eat, food, food industry, found, ground, health, humor, industry, just, nutrition, organic, processed, processed food, sarcasm, satire, somewhere

Someone from 🇲🇺 has recently shared this quote.

10 shares on WeChat this month.

All funny processed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Shared recently on Threads:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Just shared via Snapchat:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Making waves on Facebook:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Shared recently on Slack:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Live now on X:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Going viral on Reddit:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Just landed via Instagram:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny processed quotes

New funny processed quotes 👇

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

All funny processed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨