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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Going viral on TikTok:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Shared recently on Discord:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Reported on TikTok:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Going viral on Discord:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Going viral on Telegram:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Just shared via Twitch:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Spotted on WeChat:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Seen just now on X:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Live now on Instagram:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Breaking via Messenger:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Live now on Facebook:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

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