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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,935

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,935

18 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Live now on TikTok:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Just shared via Threads:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Making waves on Messenger:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Just landed via X:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Making waves on Facebook:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Home » Funny Puppet Quotes

Funny puppet quotes

New funny puppet quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Commentary:
Can you picture Pinocchio laying down some sassy burns without his nose growing? That's one heck of a roast battle! 🤥🔥 Just imagine the wooden boy dropping truth bombs with a straight face. 😂 Better watch out, his words might be as sharp as his nose is long!

For even more funny puppet quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny puppet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,935

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,935

18 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Live now on Slack:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Going viral on Threads:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Just landed via X:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Going viral on Twitch:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Reported on Instagram:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

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