Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Just shared via Facebook:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Making waves on Threads:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Going viral on Snapchat:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Spotted on Discord:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Going viral on Twitch:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Spotted on Discord:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Just landed via TikTok:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Making waves on Threads:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Trending via Pinterest:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Freshly posted on Slack:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Making waves on Twitch:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

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