Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Going viral on YouTube:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Trending via Telegram:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Just landed via Discord:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Going viral on X:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Funny razor quotes

New funny razor quotes 👇

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

1 month ago

beauty, beauty standard, commercial, commercials, gorilla, hairless, hairless leg, humor, impress, leg, legs, razor, satire, shave, shaving, someone, standard, stop, want

All funny razor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Threads this month:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

76 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

25 shares on Telegram this month:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

89 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Just landed via TikTok:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny razor quotes

New funny razor quotes 👇

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

All funny razor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨