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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Making waves on Discord:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Live now on Snapchat:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Shared recently on Slack:

Y’all pronounce it data or data?

Just landed via WeChat:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Trending via Snapchat:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Freshly posted on X:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Funny revenge body quotes

New funny revenge body quotes 👇

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

2 weeks ago

bed, body, breakfast, crisis, eating, eating in bed, gym, gym membership, humor, i, indulgence, me, membership, midlife, midlife crisis, revenge, revenge body, self-care, Snickers, want, wish

All funny revenge body quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

91 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Trending via Facebook:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Just shared via Messenger:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Just landed via Facebook:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny revenge body quotes

New funny revenge body quotes 👇

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

All funny revenge body quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨