Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Spotted on YouTube:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Going viral on Discord:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Just landed via WeChat:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Just landed via Reddit:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Shared recently on Discord:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Seen just now on Messenger:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Shared recently on Reddit:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Making waves on TikTok:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Funny revenge body quotes

New funny revenge body quotes 👇

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, body, breakfast, crisis, eating, eating in bed, gym, gym membership, humor, i, indulgence, me, membership, midlife, midlife crisis, revenge, revenge body, self-care, Snickers, want, wish

All funny revenge body quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Slack this month:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

19 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

79 shares on Discord this month:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Breaking via Instagram:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Trending via Discord:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Spotted on Instagram:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Seen just now on Slack:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Going bananas on Discord:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Breaking via Facebook:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny revenge body quotes

New funny revenge body quotes 👇

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

All funny revenge body quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨