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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Just landed via Reddit:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Going viral on Slack:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Spotted on YouTube:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Trending via Twitch:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Making waves on Threads:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Just landed via Discord:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Seen just now on X:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Breaking via Telegram:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Just shared via TikTok:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Making waves on Messenger:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

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