Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Making waves on Slack:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Making waves on Instagram:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Is this art or trash?

Making waves on Instagram:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

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All funny right time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Trending via LinkedIn:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Just shared via Threads:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Making waves on Facebook:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Making waves on Threads:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

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