Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Seen just now on Slack:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Making waves on Slack:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

65 shares on Threads this month:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

55 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Just landed via X:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Seen just now on Slack:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Trending via Facebook:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Going viral on TikTok:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

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