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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Going viral on Twitch:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Just landed via Instagram:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Shared recently on Threads:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Spotted on Slack:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Going viral on Threads:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Making waves on Instagram:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Making waves on Twitch:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Spotted on Reddit:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Reported on Instagram:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

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