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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2440 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,602

Funny Quotes Topics

15,268

Funny Quotes Images

12,602

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Just shared via Telegram:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Spotted on Discord:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Spotted on Telegram:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Just shared via TikTok:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Trending via Telegram:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2440 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,602

Funny Quotes Topics

15,268

Funny Quotes Images

12,602

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The government even made aliens boring.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Making waves on Discord:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Just landed via Instagram:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Shared recently on Telegram:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

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