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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Just shared via X:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Going viral on YouTube:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Funny satellite quotes

New funny satellite quotes 👇

All funny satellite quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Messenger this month:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Onion rings? I’m answering.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

50 shades of single.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Live now on Discord:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Broadcasted on Discord:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Just shared via WeChat:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Just landed via X:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

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