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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Just landed via Reddit:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Spotted on Instagram:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Making waves on WeChat:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Spreading quickly via X:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Funny scales quotes

New funny scales quotes 👇

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

4 weeks ago

belief, believe, body, body image, fake, fake information, humor, i, image, information, mirrors, refuse, scales, self-perception

All funny scales quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

55 shares on Twitch this month:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

29 shares on Messenger this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Trending via Twitch:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Breaking via Threads:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Going bananas on Slack:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Trending via Slack:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny scales quotes

New funny scales quotes 👇

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

All funny scales quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨