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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Live now on Instagram:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You are the Monday of my life.

Spotted on Threads:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Making waves on Slack:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Just shared via Discord:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Trending via X:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Breaking via Facebook:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Going viral on Messenger:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Just landed via WeChat:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Going viral on Facebook:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media. Like, why am I showing my life?

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

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