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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,394

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Trending via WeChat:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Spotted on Telegram:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Live now on TikTok:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Live now on Pinterest:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Just shared via Telegram:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Just landed via X:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Funny sheer boredom quotes

New funny sheer boredom quotes 👇

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

2 weeks ago

activity, boredom, door, doorbell, front, front door, fun, fun activity, happiness, happy, i, joy, sheer, sheer boredom, unexpected, unexpected joy

All funny sheer boredom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on X this month:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

56 shares on Slack this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Just landed via WeChat:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Trending via Instagram:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Going viral on Reddit:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Making waves on Threads:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Just landed via TikTok:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Freshly posted on X:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny sheer boredom quotes

New funny sheer boredom quotes 👇

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

All funny sheer boredom quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨