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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Just landed via Twitch:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Trending via Threads:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Going viral on Slack:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Just shared via Telegram:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Going viral on X:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

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Funny shelf life quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Just landed via Twitch:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Going viral on WeChat:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Spotted on Messenger:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

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