Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Shared recently on Discord:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Just shared via Pinterest:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Just landed via WeChat:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Home » Funny Short-term Plan Quotes

Funny short-term plan quotes

New funny short-term plan quotes 👇

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

0

1 month ago

5-year, 5-year plan, funny response, humor, i, movie, next, plan, procrastination, response, short-term, short-term plan, think, week

All funny short-term plan quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

100 shares on Threads this month:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

85 shares on Slack this month:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Shared recently on X:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Live now on YouTube:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Going viral on Reddit:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Making waves on X:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny short-term plan quotes

New funny short-term plan quotes 👇

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

All funny short-term plan quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨