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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,962

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,962

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Just landed via Facebook:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Making waves on TikTok:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Making waves on Discord:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

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Funny simple girl quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,962

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,962

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Just shared via Twitch:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Breaking via Slack:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Breaking via WeChat:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Trending via Slack:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Breaking via Facebook:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

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