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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Going viral on Threads:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Just shared via Reddit:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Trending via Discord:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Spotted on Twitch:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

86 shares on Discord this month:

Drive like no one is watching.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Just landed via Twitch:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Just shared via Threads:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

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