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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Reported on TikTok:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Reported on WeChat:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Going viral on TikTok:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Trending via TikTok:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

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Funny single guy quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Breaking via Instagram:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Freshly posted on X:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Shared recently on Discord:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Just landed via Messenger:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

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