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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Trending via X:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Trending via Threads:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Just landed via X:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Funny sippy quotes

New funny sippy quotes 👇

All funny sippy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WeChat this month:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Overthinkaholic!

38 shares on Telegram this month:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

93 shares on Instagram this month:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I love unplanned fun.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Just shared via Slack:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Making waves on Discord:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Live now on Discord:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Spotted on Twitch:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Going bananas on WeChat:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

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