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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Going viral on TikTok:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Trending via Discord:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Making waves on Instagram:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Going viral on Facebook:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Going viral on X:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Shared recently on Reddit:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Going viral on Messenger:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Just shared via Twitch:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Live now on LinkedIn:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Funny sleep issues quotes

Funny sleep issues quotes are the perfect way to laugh off those restless nights and endless tossing 😴✨. Whether you’re battling insomnia, weird dreams, or just can’t find that cozy spot 🛌, these witty lines turn bedtime struggles into hilarious moments. Ready to giggle your way to dreamland? Let’s dive into some seriously relatable and chuckle-worthy sleep humor! 😂🌙💤

New funny sleep issues quotes 👇

All funny sleep issues quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on X this month:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Oh good. Another day.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

God saw you do that.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

31 shares on TikTok this month:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Just shared via Twitch:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Going viral on Discord:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Going viral on Twitch:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Just landed via Slack:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

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