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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Just shared via Reddit:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Just landed via Reddit:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Just landed via Reddit:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Freshly posted on X:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Going viral on YouTube:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Funny slide guitar quotes

New funny slide guitar quotes 👇

All funny slide guitar quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Muting morons is good for your health.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Just landed via Threads:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Going viral on Discord:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Trending via Threads:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Going viral on Slack:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Spotted on YouTube:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

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