Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Making waves on Threads:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Freshly posted on Threads:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Trending via WeChat:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Funny slime quotes

New funny slime quotes 👇

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

0

2 months ago

culinary, eat, eating, food, great, humor, joke, salt, seaweed, slime, texture, want, wish

Someone from 🇩🇿 has recently bookmarked this quote.

111 shares on TikTok this month.
Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

0

2 months ago

boo, childish, fun, having, kid, parenthood, playtime, slime, turn

Someone from 🇷🇸 has recently shared this quote.

60 shares on TikTok this month.

All funny slime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Discord this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

85 shares on X this month:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

65 shares on X this month:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Going viral on X:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Live now on LinkedIn:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Trending via Messenger:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny slime quotes

New funny slime quotes 👇

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

All funny slime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨