Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Just landed via Reddit:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Just shared via Instagram:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Trending via X:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Spotted on Twitch:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Spotted on Telegram:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Trending via WhatsApp:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Going viral on WeChat:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Spotted on Slack:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

99 shares on X this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

11 shares on Threads this month:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Maybe you should embark on a strange journey.

60 shares on X this month:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

Freshly posted on Slack:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Going viral on Discord:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Going viral on Telegram:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Seen just now on X:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Making waves on X:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Making waves on Telegram:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

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