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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Making waves on Slack:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Just shared via Telegram:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Spotted on Discord:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Live now on Telegram:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Making waves on Facebook:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Going viral on TikTok:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Stretching isn’t enough, I need to be able to disassemble my body like legos.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Just landed via Messenger:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Just landed via X:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Going viral on Discord:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Just shared via Discord:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Just landed via Discord:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Seen just now on X:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Just landed via TikTok:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

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