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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Just landed via Telegram:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Live now on Messenger:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Spotted on X:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Spotted on Reddit:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Just shared via Telegram:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Home » Funny Spending Time Quotes

Funny spending time quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Live now on Threads:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Live now on Reddit:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Reported on Slack:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Live now on WhatsApp:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Making waves on Twitch:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Seen just now on Slack:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Spotted on YouTube:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

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