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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Spotted on WeChat:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Trending via Telegram:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Just landed via Twitch:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Trending via Slack:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Reported on Facebook:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Trending via Threads:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Just shared via Twitch:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Just shared via TikTok:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

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