Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

3 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Making waves on Telegram:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Reported on TikTok:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Just landed via YouTube:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Home » Funny Straight Talk Quotes

Funny straight talk quotes

New funny straight talk quotes 👇

Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Commentary:
Well, it seems like you're looking for a health shortcut without all the hard work, eh? 🤔 Sorry to break it to you, but the old "take a magic pill and call me in the morning" routine isn't quite cutting it anymore! 🚫💊 How about we start with some baby steps? Maybe swap out that soda for some water, and perhaps take a walk around the block instead of Netflix-binging all weekend long? 🥤🚶

For even more funny straight talk quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny straight talk quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2332 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,494

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,494

3 minutes ago

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Just landed via Telegram:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Spotted on WeChat:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Reported on Threads:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Trending via Telegram:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Shared recently on Discord:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴